


Love as a Construct

by bondibee



Category: Portal (Video Game)
Genre: F/F, Human GLaDOS, selectively mute chell
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-08
Updated: 2020-08-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:55:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 18,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25778527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bondibee/pseuds/bondibee
Summary: GLaDOS is a human sometimes but that's less important than the fact that they're in LOVEAfter a year I'm finally putting my LAAC fics on here. I've tried to put them in chronological order like some kind of story, not the order they were written in, so some of the later ones might be Worse.If you're new, check out my tumblr tag for all of the au content: https://bondibee.tumblr.com/tagged/love-as-a-construct
Relationships: Chell/GLaDOS
Comments: 13
Kudos: 101





	1. getting thrown down a pit together is a great team building exercise

Chell wasn’t sure when she had last seen another human. It felt like anywhere from a few days to months, it was hard to determine the passage of time in the Enrichment Center. Her memory from the time immediately leading up to waking up in the small holding cell was fuzzy, but she was sure she hadn’t been in there for long. Regardless of the actual time it didn’t feel like it had been long since she’d last shown up at work like normal, and she wasn’t exactly going mad with human contact withdrawal. So, the sight of the small, pale woman crumpled on the floor wasn’t reassuring in any way. It was still just GlaDOS, but now in a concerning new shape.

“There!” Wheatley had exclaimed from his new home in GlaDOS’ repaired body, “Thought you’d appreciate a bit of human contact. Y’know, before you die. Haha!”

Chell did not, in fact, appreciate it at all. She also did not appreciate being thrown down the bottomless elevator shaft, nor did she appreciate waking up alone in some long-abandoned area of the facility that must have been only a few feet above Hell. Actually, she was starting to feel pretty pissed off. Was something going to go wrong every time she thought she was almost out of this place? For a brief moment she even wondered if there was any chance GlaDOS would have released her if she had behaved like a good little test subject. The thought made her gag. 

Chell sighed and shook her head. Thinking about all this wasn’t going to help anything. She needed to focus on getting back up to modern Aperture and somehow finding a way out of the facility, if she could manage it.

Another hour of wandering through old test chambers and giant metal spheres led her to, well, more test chambers and giant metal spheres. In trying to figure out how to get up to the next level of catwalks she entered a building marked “control room”, which disappointingly didn’t seem to control much at all. She was trying to make sense of some of the old machinery to see if she could make anything of value happen, when the sound of movement behind her jerked her attention away. At first she wrote it off as another tremor from the new boss upstairs banging things around, but as she walked toward the door of the room Chell swore she heard something like a struggle. She pointed the portal gun down the hall as if it would offer any form of protection, and listened.

And then she heard a scream. A chilling, familiar scream. Like an opera singer with a computer stuck in her throat. Chell froze. What was she supposed to do? What could she do? If something down here was scary enough to make her cry out in fear, what on Earth could Chell do against it? The concept that there could be new threats down here, or that Wheatley had sent something down after them to make sure they were gone for good, was terrifying. The smart thing to do would be to run away now, before anything could catch her. She had a portal outside on a wall still, she could get away very quickly if she needed to.

However, the scream came again, this time a distinct exclamation.

“No! Get away!”

And Chell was running toward the noise.

She wasn’t a monster, no matter what GlaDOS said, and she couldn’t just let her suffer. Maybe a part of her only wanted to show up and be a hero to rub her goodness in GlaDOS’ face, but it didn’t matter. She was there now, and ready to fight off whatever…

A bird.

A crow. 

One single, regular ass, normal crow.

And one cowering, shrieking, bruised and bloody woman batting helplessly at the animal trying to take her hair for a nest. Chell stood in the doorway and stared in disbelief. She briefly remembered something about Prometheus.

“Ah- it’s you!!” came that frenzied voice again, it was so eerie to hear it coming from a human mouth, “Can you- ow! Get rid of this bird?!”

Chell stared. What, she couldn’t do it herself? Watching her a bit longer it seemed that she really couldn’t. Her movements were weak and the bird was undeterred, so at last Chell walked over and waved her hand at the crow until it flew away. GlaDOS sighed in relief and slumped against the dilapidated wall.

“Finally,” she said, “thanks.”

Thanks? Did she just thank her for something? And… what? What? Now that she had a moment to process it, the gravity of the situation was starting to dawn on her. Was this person GlaDOS? Really? Chell knelt down beside her and looked over the woman. She was small, almost ghostly pale with white hair covering one eye, the visible one was an unnatural orangish color. She appeared to be wearing black lipstick and what seemed to have once been a business suit, though the jacket was missing and the sheer black pantyhose were full of holes and runs. She was looking pretty rough, actually. Chell wondered what had happened to her, she hadn’t looked nearly this bad in the central AI chamber earlier. Maybe it was the fall, Chell herself had gotten pretty scuffed up in it, or the bird could have had something to do with it. That idea almost made her laugh, until GlaDOS started trying to stand.

“Okay,” she began, rising slowly onto trembling legs, “This is good. You have the portal device, you should be able to get us back up there to- ah!” She stumbled and fell back against the wall, adding another scrape to her arm as she slid down against the rough peeling wallpaper. Again she tried to get up, but her limbs didn’t seem to be obeying her like she wanted. It was like watching a baby deer try to stand for the first time, only not as cute. Chell was worried that she may have gotten injured- but then, could she even get hurt? Was she still a robot? What was this? She certainly looked human. She was bleeding, sweating, her eye was an odd color but otherwise looked normal. Chell reached out and touched her arm. It was cold from sweat and the chilly subterranean air, and definitely felt like skin. GlaDOS shot her a look then, sharp and somehow exhausted.

“What?”

Chell gave her a confused look back, thinking her confusion was obvious.

“What, this?” GlaDOS groaned, “It’s something I was working on before you killed me. I abandoned it when I realized it was a waste of time. But I guess he found it…” The pitch shift in her voice when she said ‘killed’ made shivers run down Chell’s spine, it was unnerving to say the least.

So, what, GlaDOS had made some kind of human body for herself then stuffed it in a closet somewhere? Eh, Chell could believe it. This was the same AI who just a few hours earlier had been bragging about a plan to remove all of Chell’s bone marrow and replace it with “a surprise” so, this was definitely within the realm of possibility. And wait, what was up with that bone marrow plan, anyway? Chell glared at the computer. She had a lot to answer for.

GlaDOS braced herself against the wall and again tried to stand, but it seemed as if there was no strength in her body and she struggled to even kneel. Another violent tremor rocked through the facility and she fell back to the ground.  
“Ugh- did you feel that? That idiot doesn’t know what he’s doing up there.” GlaDOS glared out the window of the room, and Chell could almost see the daggers in her gaze.  
“Look,” She continued, looking back at Chell, “Someone needs to get him out of there before this entire place explodes.”  
Chell nodded. Yeah, someone did need to do that. Probably GlaDOS. She was the one built to run this place, after all.

“Well, I can’t get up there on my own. I tried that. So, what do you say? Carry me back up to my old body, and I’ll stop us all from blowing up and let you go.”

Chell stared at her again.

No.

No?

Carry her? What was she, six?! And she didn’t buy that “let you go” bit for one minute. She was not going to chauffeur her own personal grim reaper back home. Chell shook her head and stood up, ready to walk away.  
“Where do you think you’re going?” GlaDOS barked, “Unless you’re planning to saw your own head off and wedge it into my old body, you’re going to need me to replace him. We’re at an impasse.”

The smug look on Glados’ face as chell realized she was right was disgusting. But, she was right. Chell stopped at the doorway and jerked the portal gun to the side, gesturing for glados to follow her.

“I can’t.” she groaned, not sounding too happy about it. “Do you know how much energy it takes to power a human body?” Chell started to think about it but GlaDOS continued without an answer, “A lot. And most of it is lost through heat. I barely have enough power to run my basic systems. There’s a reason I abandoned this idea, it doesn’t work.” to her credit she was still trying to get up, presumably to regain some dignity, but couldn’t manage it.

Chell glared at her. No. Hell no, she was not going to lug this bitch around so she could dole out verbal abuse and threaten to kill her some more. This was the same supercomputer who had tried to incinerate her, trapped her in stasis chambers, dropped her in rooms full of turrets, and most recently was apparently planning on keeping her captive as some kind of testing pet for the rest of her life.

But, it seemed like she did need her if she wanted any chance of making it out of here alive. God, she hated her.

Slowly, and extremely reluctantly, Chell walked back over to the small white haired woman now panting on the floor. She glared down at her, and GlaDOS glared back up. Neither of them wanted to do this. Chell spent an awkward moment trying to determine the best way to pick up a grown woman in a pencil skirt, before finally saying fuck it and scooping her up in a fireman’s carry. It was one of those weird things you learned to do working in the maintenance department in aperture, and even though it was supposed to make it easier to carry people around, GlaDOS still felt strangely heavy for her size. And, she apparently did not enjoy being tossed over Chell’s shoulder and held by the ankle like a lamb.

“Hey- what are you- hey!!” She cried, kicking and squirming as Chell struggled to keep a grip on her.

“No- this isn’t going to work, put me back down!”

Chell smirked to herself and did not put her back down. She walked out of the building, carrying the very displeased AI with her. GlaDOS struggled for a minute before giving in, slumping against chells shoulder and sighing heavily.

“You have all the grace of a drunk orangutan. I don’t know what I was expecti-WAH!”

Chell pretended to drop her and smirked as her insult was cut short. She could at least use the situation to her advantage.

“Oh, ha ha.”

Chell nodded. Yes, it was very funny.


	2. dead weight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chell carries around an unconscious woman and gets introspective

Generally, the silence of aperture wasn’t noticeable. It was never technically silent, there was a constant white noise of computers and machinery humming away somewhere far in the distance, and in the testing chambers it was even a lite noisy sometimes with anything from chattering turrets to the buzz of lasers, and of course, GLaDOS’s comments.

However, this far down, as Chell stood with an unconscious GLaDOS in her arms on a rusty catwalk high in the air, it was dead silent. The only sound was her own breathing, and that of her somnolent companion. It was eerie, but at least it didn’t last long.

The loud but unavoidable clanging of Chell’s boots against the steel grate echoed through the cavern like gunshots, and while the portal gun didn’t shoot bullets it wasn’t exactly a quiet device.

Yet still, GLaDOS was out cold. This was the second time she had fainted like this, but she woke up from the first time just fine so Chell wasn’t too worried. It was just a little annoying to have to carry her like this. She may not have been a big person, but she was still an adult woman and not exactly the easiest thing in the world to lug around. Especially not when she was just dead weight draped over Chell’s shoulder. It was tiring, and Chell wasn’t sure where to go next anyway, so she decided they could take a short break.

As Chell set her unconscious passenger down to rest, she noticed something peculiar. Well, maybe it wasn’t actually that out of the ordinary, but it was unexpected.

As GLaDOS’s head lulled back against the wall the long hair covering the right side of her face fell away, and Chell could see both of her eyes. She had half been expecting the right one - which she had noticed GLaDOS making an effort to keep hidden- to be some kind of computer optic, or to be scarred or outright missing, but it looked perfectly normal. Of course GLaDOS was still asleep so she couldn’t know for sure, but for now at least Chell couldn’t see a reason to keep it covered. This eye had perfect winged liner and mascara like the other one, so clearly the core’s perfectionism hadn’t faltered here. Maybe she was just used to having one eye? Perhaps she felt it was part of her identity. Though come to think of it Chell wasn’t sure if GLaDOS could actually see out of her single eye in her chassis or if it was just there for aesthetics. Did GLaDOS even know what she looked like?

That was an interesting question. She didn’t exactly have mirrors in the central chamber, and most of her body was above what she could see, assuming of course she could see from her single yellow eye. Surely she knew, because how else would she have gotten this body to bear such a resemblance to her usual one? It was definitely intentional. But that brought up the troubling question of where exactly she got this body from in the first place.

Chell was getting lost in her own thoughts, and didn’t realize right away that GLaDOS had begun to stir. She groaned softly, slowly and groggily moving her limbs as she came around. Seeing that she was alright Chell started to stand and signal for GLaDOS to follow, but her attention caught on something.

It was only visible for the briefest of moments when GLaDOS first awoke, before straightening up and promptly fixing her hair, but that was enough. Chell saw it, GLaDOS’s right eye.

The left one was unsettling, in a way, Chell had certainly never seen an eye color like that in a person before and had to wonder how exactly GLaDOS had made it happen. It was a warm yellow, like her eye in her chassis, but on a human face Chell thought it looked sickly and strange. Like something from a monster movie, not real life. Her right eye, though, was blue. A clear, brilliant blue that seemed almost jarringly normal beside the other. It wasn’t too dissimilar from Chell’s own eye color.

Chell smiled, and pointed to her own right eye to indicate this, but GLaDOS was predictably unamused. She quickly smoothed her hair back down over the right half of her face, before shakily rising to her feet.

“How long was I out?” She asked, obviously avoiding the test subject’s attempt at conversation.

Chell couldn’t give her an answer to that, even if she was willing to talk she didn’t know the time. So she just shrugged, and impatiently tapped her cheek below her eye again.

GLaDOS just ignored her. Of course now she wanted to be quiet, and not when Chell was actually trying to focus. Well, so be it then. They didn’t have time to be standing around glaring at each other, so Chell let it go, and continued on their journey upwards.

It wasn’t until a long while later that Chell saw that blue eye again. By then, things had changed a bit. GLaDOS had kissed her, not too long ago, and now Chell held her in a tense silence as they still searched for a way back to the more familiar parts of the facility, certain that they were close. Before then GLaDOS had gotten very quiet for a long time. Chell was smart, she could put it together, but there were still questions in her mind about Caroline, and GLaDOS, and who either of them really were. Maybe GLaDOS questioned the same things.

The AI was playing it off, she had stopped mentioning it and was again focused solely on the task at hand, but Chell was… worried. Maybe she and GLaDOS weren’t the closest two people in the world, and Chell couldn’t read her perfectly, but she didn’t seem to be handling everything as well as she had when the first set out.

Eventually, Chell set her down just inside a test chamber, and tried to communicate her concern.

It still felt like some sort of personal betrayal to admit that she was worried for GLaDOS at all, but at the same time she felt proud for being the bigger person in the situation, being nice to her would-be murderer despite what she did. Showing forgiveness before GLaDOS was able to herself, taking that bit of satisfaction from her.

Painting every act of kindness toward GLaDOS as some kind of passive aggressive revenge plot made it easier to explain away the feelings that the small woman stirred up, even if Chell knew on some level that she was lying to herself. 

Regardless of motive, she helped GLaDOS down to her feet and made sure she was balancing before letting go, and then gently took her chin in her hand. She raised GLaDOS’s face to look at her, and mouthed the words,

‘Are you okay?’

Chell figured it was a common enough phrase that GLaDOS should be able to read her lips, but maybe that wasn’t the case, as the central core just furrowed her brow and blinked. She parted her lips as if to respond, but said nothing.

Chell raised her hand slowly, and brushed the tangled white hair away from GLaDOS’s face. For a second she looked back at her, both eyes shining in the dim light with something Chell couldn’t quite read. Tired but still intense, and maybe- just a little bit- afraid.

It didn’t last long, however. That vulnerable expression quickly shifted to anger, and GLaDOS slapped Chell’s hand away. Her concern was gone in an instant with that, and she went back to being annoyed at the moody woman she was forced to drag around.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not even reading these I just did my best to remember what they're about and I hope they're in a comprehensible order


	3. a voice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oooo the girls are fightiiiing

She spoke.

Well, she didn’t say any words, but she made a sound. A wonderful sound, low and appreciative, as she held GlaDOS up against the wall and kissed her.

GlaDOS almost regretted ruining the moment by jolting back in shock, but could anyone blame her? For ages now the AI had operated under the understanding that Chell was mute, that she was unable of speaking in any way. She hadn’t even heard her make a noise when she’d been shot by turrets or burned by lasers, nor had she ever vocalized any frustration no matter how long she struggled in a test chamber. She never snapped back at GlaDOS when she jabbed her with shallow insults, and even during her initial murderous episode she had remained entirely silent.

But this. Oh, this changed everything.

Chell could speak. She just chose not to. Chell knew she was caught, the look of guilt and panic was plain on her flushed face as GlaDOS leaned in close and asked calmly, though through gritted teeth,

“Excuse me?”

Chell simply raised an eyebrow and tilted her head, which sent GlaDOS’ blood boiling. She didn’t think anything this test subject did could ever make her more angry, more absolutely loathful than she already was, but this did it.

“You have been lying. This. Entire. Time.”

GlaDOS punctuated each word with a sharp tug at Chells ponytail. It wasn’t the most she could do, but she had to conserve energy if she wanted to remain conscious through this emotional torrent. Chell winced but frustratingly kept up the silent charade, shaking her head now in disagreement.

“Oh give it up! I heard you!!” GlaDOS all but yelled in the other woman’s face. She was fuming, but Chell was still much stronger than her and managed to pry GlaDOS’ hands away from her hair and drop her to the floor. She started backing away, avoiding eye contact.

“How long were you planning to keep up this act? Did you think I would never figure it out?!”

Chell shrugged, a gesture that made GlaDOS so furious she swore the edges of her vision began to blur. Without another thought she closed the distance between them, ready to throw a punch or slap her pretty face like Chell had done to her earlier, but as her fingertips reached the fabric of Chells tank top ready to grab it and pull her in, GlaDOS’ vision went black, and there was a distant feeling of falling.

The next thing she was aware of was a dim red glow coming through her eyelids. When GlaDOS opened her eyes again, she was curled up on top of a red button. Apparently Chell was using her to cheat through another test chamber, and for some reason that bothered her much more than it usually did. She promptly got up and moved off the button, which deactivated the hard light bridge in this chamber. A second later heard a loud clang as Chell’s boots hit the floor. Then she remembered why she was so mad. Chell could have screamed just then, she should have, but she didn’t. Sure enough chell came stomping over with an annoyed look on her face, and gestured for GlaDOS to get back on the button.

The AI and tilted her head, “Oh? What was that?”

Chell scowled and pointed again. She even turned and pointed back at the door, indicating what the button did as if GlaDOS didn’t already know.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that. One more time?”

Chell let out a frustrated huff of air, but ignored GlaDOS’ prodding. She pointedly walked past her and started trying to get the weighted cube meant for the button.

“Do you need help?” GlaDOS continued, “Maybe if you ask nicely…”

Chell shot a look over her shoulder before stepping through a portal and appearing on the other side of the room. She purposefully ignored GlaDOS through for the rest of the test, though it didn’t take long for her to solve it. At least she didn’t hesitate to pick GlaDOS up again before the two got back to moving through the dilapidated halls. The smaller woman was unhappily relegated to “sack of potatoes” status over Chell’s shoulder, which was disappointing, but at least now she had something to think about other than their impending deaths.

“I wonder if orphans are more likely to become compulsive liars?” She mused, idly playing with the hem of Chell’s shirt.  
No response.  
“On that note, how many compulsive liars go on to become cold blooded killers…?”

Still nothing.  
“Of course, why would you know anything about that? It’s not like either of those things apply to- oh, wait…”  
Chell still didn’t make a sound, but she did pick GlaDOS up and set her down on the floor before walking on down the hall by herself.

“Ah- what are you doing? Hey!” GlaDOS called after her but she didn’t turn around. The AI huffed and followed after her as well as she could. Walking was still a significant challenge and Chell showed no intention of slowing down.

“There’s no reason to get so mad,” She called after her, “I mean, I understand. I wouldn’t want to talk either if my voice sounded like that.”

GlaDOS grinned, did that do it? The heart in her chest beat faster as Chell’s footsteps stopped. She turned around, those ice blue eyes burning through the air in a way GlaDOS hadn’t seen before. She drew in a breath, and opened her mouth.

“Shut. Up.” she said.

The sound of that voice sent shivers down GlaDOS’ spine and lit some flame deep within her. The words had come out rough, Chell’s voice almost broken from years of disuse, and deeper than she had imagined. It sounded divine.

GlaDOS grinned wider, elated. She had won, and not just that. Oh, she loved seeing chell so worked up, so mad her cheeks turned pink and her entire posture changed. Even in this vulnerable body, or maybe especially so? There was a danger in it, for the first time in her life she felt like she was in real palpable danger, and it was exciting.

“Hah!” she laughed, she couldn’t help it, she was so thrilled, “I knew it!”

Chell took a few slow, purposeful steps closer, but GlaDOS didn’t budge.

“Say something else,” she urged. She wanted to hear Chell’s voice again, and was struck with some rush she couldn’t explain when the next idea came to her and she spoke without thinking, “Ah, say my name!”

Chell closed the gap between them and grabbed GlaDOS by the front of her shirt. She pulled the smaller woman closer and leaned down until their foreheads touched, locking eyes with her.

She spoke once more, one more rough, gravely word that simultaneously fueled the euphoric fire of victory in GlaDOS and snuffed it out,

“No.”

With that, she shoved the AI away and walked down the hall.


	4. slap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> things begin to get spicy (in a violent way not a sexy way)

Smack.

GLaDOS had never been struck before. She was stunned. A part of her wanted to carefully catalogue the feeling, the hot tingling pain in her cheek, but a much bigger part of her was simply trying to process what had just happened.

Chell slapped her.

Chell, a test subject, had hit her, the heart and soul of Aperture herself. And it had worked. GLaDOS had stopped dead in the middle of a sentence, eyes wide with surprise. She was… terribly offended. What was Chell thinking?! Maybe GLaDOS had been pushing her a few too many buttons lately, but they were in this together now. She had no right to go acting out like some kind of barbarian. The core shook herself from her stunned stupor and shot her eyes back at Chell, who was looking down at her hands with an inscrutable expression.

“What- what the hell was that?!” GLaDOS yelled, her voice coming out a little more frantic than intended.

Chell looked up slowly, and her hands balled into fists.

There was a look of realization on her face, backed with something cold and determined and angry. GLaDOS felt a sudden need to back away when Chell stepped forward.

“Chell, what are you doing. Stop that,” she urged, trying to keep a distance between herself and Chell without taking a step too far and plummeting into the abyss below. Apparently she didn’t have to worry about falling off, as suddenly Chell seized her by the shoulder and tossed her back onto the floor in the direction they’d come from. GLaDOS landed hard on the concrete, bruising her back and letting out a surprised yelp. She was getting very scared, very quickly. Before she had time to react Chell was on her, straddling her hips and holding her down by the shoulder, raising up her fist.

GLaDOS couldn’t get away, could only raise her arms in a vain attempt to shield her face- not that it did any good. There was a loud thwack that left GLaDOS’s ears ringing amidst a dizzying pain that ricocheted through her skull and left her vision blurred. She gasped and cried out, and looked back up at Chell through welling tears. She had never seen such fury in those ice blue eyes. Even when Chell had killed her- had torn her apart bit by bit- she hadn’t looked like this. GLaDOS tried to say something, to reason with her- but was cut off when Chell punched her again, this time landing the blow on her jaw. GLaDOS bit her tongue in the impact and worried for her teeth as blood quickly filled her mouth- a strange, unfamiliar taste. She turned her face away and tried to shield herself with her arms again, but Chell grabbed her wrists and easily pinned them to the floor.

GLaDOS had never felt so weak. So powerless. This body was useless, and she was entirely at the mercy of someone who hated her. Honestly thinking about it like that, she was surprised it had taken Chell this long to act.

She hit her again, and GLaDOS’s vision almost went black for a second. There was a searing pain on the side of her head. Her jaw ached and she sputtered through blood as she gasped against the weight of Chell leaning on her chest. She was beginning to panic. Chell could kill her. It was one thing to die as a computer- to be put to sleep for eternity, damned to an endless horrific memory, but if she died now… What would happen? She couldn’t find out. GLaDOS tried to pry the test subject’s hand off of her wrist to no avail. She tried to resist, to fight back, spat blood in Chell’s face before she was struck once more. GLaDOS was frustrated at her own weakness and disadvantage, growing dizzier and fighting darkness from the edges of her vision. She was furious, and desperate.

“Y-Yeah, Go ahead!” She spat through a mouthful of blood, “Go on! Murder me again!!”

“Shut up!!” Chell slammed the AI down against the concrete floor, but she smiled wickedly through the pain.

“I should’ve known better-” GLaDOS coughed, blood tickling the back of her throat, “You’re out of your mind! You were never more than a killer!!”

The end of that last word twisted and died in her throat as Chell wrapped her hand around GLaDOS’s neck and squeezed.

“I didn’t WANT to kill you!! I am not…!!” Chell trailed off, and froze.

She sat up, shoulders rising and falling quickly with ragged breaths as her eyes darted over GLaDOS’s bloodied face, shifting from blind rage to something akin to fear.

Quickly, she rose to her feet, stumbling back away from GLaDOS as fast as she could. She didn’t even take the portal gun with her as she retreated down the hall and turned the corner, leaving GLaDOS alone on the ground holding her neck.

It took some time before GLaDOS was able to get to her feet and walk again, only spurred on by the sound of distant explosions from higher in the facility. Slowly she stood up, ignoring the throbbing in her head and the vertigo that blacked out her vision for the first few steps, and made her way down the hall.

This was not how Chell would win. Leaving her alone and going off to sulk so they both died because of the mistakes of some idiot was not acceptable. If Chell wanted a fight, she would have one. Once GLaDOS could give it to her. But to get to that, they both had to live through this first. Walking was hard enough on the AI without any more added injuries, but now the distance from the end of the hallway to the corner seemed impossibly far.

By the time she made it to the turn it was all she could do to lean against the wall and slump to the floor, panting and dizzy, but luckily Chell wasn’t far away. The test subject sat with her head in her hands against a door, knees pulled up to her chest. GLaDOS tossed the portal gun across the floor toward her, and she flinched at the sound. Apparently she hadn’t noticed GLaDOS coming. She looked at the her with damp eyes, confused and clearly shaken.

“Get up.” GLaDOS ordered from the end of the hall. She was feeling faint again, but fought back the pull on her consciousness.

Chell gave her a pained look, searching her face but apparently coming up empty as she furrowed her brow and looked away. She steeled herself and picked up the portal gun, but even as she stood she was obviously reluctant. GLaDOS hadn’t seen her quite so visibly stressed before, shifting her weight uncomfortably and looking everywhere except at her.

“I have to get you back for this, but that requires us both being alive. So come on.” GLaDOS said impatiently. They didn’t have time for this. Chell should feel bad- and GLaDOS would make damn sure she felt awful- but there would be plenty of time for that when their lives weren’t in immediate danger. GLaDOS could even remind her of it all the way back up to the central chamber, as long as they kept moving.

Chell seemed to understand and slowly made her way over, keeping her head down. GLaDOS extended her hand to be helped back to her feet, and Chell took it easily enough, but paused. She looked down at the AI with a troubled expression, her brows drawn together in a conflicted anguish. She opened her mouth to speak, but the words caught in her throat. GLaDOS waited to see if she would put something together, but she failed to, instead looking away and blinking back tears, tightening her grip on the AI’s small hand.

GLaDOS sighed.

“Look, I know. Let’s just go.”

Chell swallowed hard, and nodded. She pulled GLaDOS to her feet. The movement sent another rush of pain and vertigo through her head, but she could ignore it for now. With GLaDOS securely in Chell’s arms once more, they set off again in silence. 

This wasn’t over. They weren’t through. But for now at least, difficult feelings and conversations could wait.


	5. wasted potential

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sudden time jump to post-blasting-wheato-into-space after Chell's left aperture

Chell was fine. Just like she always was.

She had been fine in foster care, fine in school. Fine in detention, in community service, in fist fights with her closest friends. She had been fine when she got that full scholarship to Harvard, and fine when she lost it. She had been fine in prison. And she was perfectly fine up here.

But fine and good are different things. Chell lazily kicked her burnt and battered companion cube along the cracked pavement, entertaining vague memories of kicking stones along the sidewalk in the orange glow of streetlights. Memories of friends she once had, of the things they did together. It all felt so recent. Not just the world before the apocalypse, not that life behind bars that she eventually left for Aperture, but the life she had with her friends. With herself.

Where did it all go wrong.

It wasn’t as if Chell hadn’t thought about that before, hadn’t stayed up more nights than she cared to remember crying until she went hoarse wondering just how the hell she managed to destroy everything that came her way. She supposed it started somewhere early, maybe in the accident that killed her parents, maybe somewhere in the hazy interim between that and being adopted in middle school. Maybe it was the expectations, the promises, the lauding of praise and assurance that she would be great, if only she put her mind to it.

She could be great, if she would just try.

And yet, she didn’t. No, what did she do? Failed remedial algebra. Got expelled for selling weed in the school parking lot. Maybe that was where it all really went wrong, those lazy days spent with lazy people swiping beer from convenience stores and only half trying to avoid the cops. It was hardly a high point in her life, objectively, but… looking back, it was probably the only time chell had ever felt like herself.

The warm, dry breeze drifting over the dead grass brought with it a stabbing nostalgia for something that never was. A life she could’ve had, but just didn’t take. Thinking about it, chell realized it had already been a decade somehow. She was 26 now, and what did she have to show for it? A life sentence and this burnt up hunk of metal. On the bright side, she had definitely served that jail time by now. It had obviously been much more than a decade, after all.

It wasn’t clear what had happened to the Earth while Chell had been in hibernation, but it was obviously something bad. Chell had managed to wander back home to Detroit, or at least where it had been before the world ended. The buildings were there, kind of, same for the roads. But Chell couldn’t recognize a thing. Maybe she did have some brain damage, or maybe it was just hard to make anything out without the signs and trees and cars. Where was the corner store where she used to buy cigarettes? Where was the shitty apartment she shared with three other friends? She couldn’t say.

They were gone.

And that was the grand irony of it all. How hard had she fought for this? For once in her sorry life, Chell had fought for something, and actually gotten it. She did something right. She tried hard enough. And it got her this. Chell would’ve laughed, would’ve recognized what a predictable end this was for someone like her, but she didn’t feel like talking. She was a tragic figure in an old fable, something you tell your kids so they don’t end up like the sad sack wandering around the skeleton of her old neighborhood kicking around a box and slowly starving to death. She wasn’t a hero. She was this.

Chell sighed, and sat down on the cube. She was dizzy, she was tired. Her head had been pounding for days but it wasn’t as if there was anything she could do about it. There wasn’t really anything she could do at all. Aperture was a long ways from Detroit, and she hadn’t seen a soul all the way here. She wasn’t counting on seeing anyone at all, even if the faint motorcycle tracks in the dust had made her shamefully hopeful for a while. Looking out from her perch on the overpass at the dusty, silent landscape, Chell felt oddly distant from herself. It was still out here. Quiet, uneventful. Lonely. Freeing? Maybe. Chell could stretch her arms out wide and run and scream and do anything she wanted, and she had done that at first, before she got so tired.

Now she was just here.

And this would be the rest of her life.

What was the point? It wasn’t the first time Chell had asked herself that, either. How many nights had she spent lying awake wondering why she bothered to keep living if she was just going to die in the end. She didn’t want to revisit that path of thought, not here. Not now. But it wouldn’t leave her. As far as she could see the world was barren, and silent, and harsh. The horizon stretched on forever, like time, only shrouded in a dense haze at the very edges of Chell’s vision.

She had no reason to be here.

It was a thought that came easily to her, with the same gentle acceptance as noticing a change in the weather Chell was unabashedly aware that there was no purpose to her life. She didn’t feel like there ever had been, so it didn’t matter that she threw it all away. It really didn’t. She was fine. She would fade away out here and be done with it- on her own terms, that was what mattered. If she was in charge of her own life and death it was different, not like when she was trying to kill her. Back in aperture there had been a reason to run, to keep pushing, keep fighting. She wasn’t about to let anyone else tell her when she was going to die. And then when that blue idiot showed up and turned on her, she had something else to fight for. Someone else.

It all hit her like a truck. So suddenly, so hard.

Chell stared out at the blasted out world, awash in shades of rust and ocher in the dying sunlight, and for a long moment she sat dumbfounded by her own nescience. Of course, it was her.

Chell’s life had never been anything. But maybe she could make it something now. Maybe she could make it something.

If nothing else, she was something to live for.


	6. in which chell comes back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chell comes back in this one   
> also they f u c k

How did GLaDOS feel when Chell came back? That was hard to answer.

She was annoyed, of course. She thought she’d made it clear enough to the troublesome test subject that she wanted her to stay as far away from aperture as possible. She’d made it clear that she didn’t need anybody, certainly not some stubborn, murderous human, and yet here she came crawling back again! It was annoying and frankly GLaDOS didn’t have time for it.

And yet… no.

There was nothing else. GLaDOS knew her own mind, her own wants and desires. So there wasn’t any question, not really. She wanted Chell gone, and that was that.

Did the blood in her improved human body run just a bit faster when Chell’s barbaric message crashed through the ceiling? Of course it did, that was a perfectly normal response to almost being killed by a falling brick. Had she launched into a frenzy of cleaning and redecorating and rebuilding the facility before sending the elevator back up to the surface again? Yes, but that was just because she took pride in her home and wanted Chell to know how it could look when she wasn’t in there destroying it. Did she sit and wait for what felt like hours after sending up the lift, biting her lip and for the first time that she could remember not being able to pay attention to the tests being run? Well, yes. She had.

And when Chell showed back up looking almost like a new person, with color in her face and clean new clothes and light cascading over her tan skin like some gaudy baroque masterwork, had GLaDOS’ heart stopped, for just a moment?

It was hard to say.

She’d done her best to not show it. To not let on that she had never felt anything like what she was feeling, such a powerful mix of relief and gratitude and overwhelming fondness.

“Oh,” she said, “It’s you again.”

And Chell had smiled, broad and bright like the sun breaking through clouds and she ran to the center of the room and gathered GLaDOS in her arms, lifting her up and spinning her and kissing her cheek, her lips.

And GLaDOS had cried.

It was a strange thing, crying. She always held the assumption that humans were weak and simple for not being able to control such a basic bodily function, and believed that they could if they actually tried, but she was proven wrong. There was no warning before the tears came, and no way of stopping it once they did.

So, how did GLaDOS feel about Chell coming back? She didn’t know. She still didn’t.

Chell had returned a few hours ago, and after that rather embarrassing display in her chamber GLaDOS had decided to show off the rebuilt facility to her, with all the shiny new testing tracks, and her little robot pet project. Chell nodded and smiled at everything, though she did seem somewhat distracted. She had been holding GLaDOS’ hand the whole time and a good portion of the core’s CPU was now permanently devoted to processing that situation.

As Chell looked over the impressive array of monitors showing all the security camera feeds from around the facility, GLaDOS sat on the counter and spoke up.

“So…” she said softly, “Is there a reason you came back? Or are you just planning to wing it and see how much you can break this time?”

Chell laughed, in her usual silent way, and shook her head. GLaDOS felt the calloused hand in hers squeeze gently, before Chell turned her attention to the monitor showing the feed from the break room. It had a nice view of a now very overgrown field, and currently two deer stood in the tall grass. Chell seemed very excited about it, and turned to GLaDOS with a peculiar expression.

“What, the deer? I told you about that once, didn’t I?”

Chell nodded. It was then that GLaDOS realized she still wasn’t speaking. She hadn’t said a word since she got back. Was she seriously going to keep that up, even now? GLaDOS started to get annoyed, before Chell pointed at another monitor, this one watching the baby birds GLaDOS had recently… adopted. She was happy enough to tell Chell her exciting plans for them, and Chell was… willing to listen.

That was something to take notice of. At some point during their “adventure” together Chell had started listening to her, which GLaDOS understood she really didn’t have to. Before then most, or really all, of their communication had consisted of Chell probably trying to tune GLaDOS out while she tried to solve puzzles. But now here she was, looking the AI in the face and waiting for her next words. It was almost jarring and for the first time since that horrifying core transfer GLaDOS felt… nervous. Chell’s striking blue eyes arrested her attention and seemed to steal the thoughts from her mind.

She played it off as nothing, and did her best to get back on track with what she was saying. Chell listened for another minute or two, before she placed her hands on the counter on either sides of GLaDOS’ legs, and leaned in closer.

It was like a dam broke when Chell kissed her. GLaDOS hadn’t realized how much she had been wanting it, and not just since Chell showed up. Her arms wrapped so easily around the former test subject’s neck, and it felt so good, so different. All the times they had kissed before had been hasty, often angry, and sometimes violent.

The first had been after a particularly harrowing jump when GLaDOS’ heart was racing with adrenaline and she acted without thinking. She was shocked that Chell had returned the gesture then, and more shocked when she kissed her again later to make her stop talking. Chell did that many times, and it was more effective at making GLaDOS forget what she was saying than she liked to admit. There was a break when both of them were exhausted and stressed and fearing for their lives, and somehow translated that into a few minutes of something halfway between passion and fighting that left GLaDOS with bruises on her neck and Chell with a fat lip from being bitten. Then there was the time Chell had grabbed GLaDOS in a melodramatic dip and kissed her in front of one of Wheatley’s monitors in a test chamber, which was stupid and reckless and wonderfully satisfying.

But this, this was nothing like any of that. They kissed slowly and deeply, and GLaDOS almost felt… cherished, the way Chell held her close against her body and ran her fingertips down the core’s back. GLaDOS in turn gently pulled Chell’s hair free from its ponytail and ran her fingers through it. She’d never done that before, strangely enough, and it felt so nice. Her hair was soft now, not tangled and dirty like it had been before. She pulled back for a moment to get another look at Chell, with her hair down in the dim glow of the monitors, smiling and calm. She looked wonderful. GLaDOS must have stared a little too long because Chell laughed then, and raised an eyebrow.

“Oh, shut up.” GLaDOS huffed.

Chell laughed again and used the pause to sweep the white hair away from GLaDOS’ right eye, which made her pause for a moment. She usually hid it for a reason, and felt oddly… exposed, showing her whole face. The asymmetry of her eyes was something of an embarrassment, as it threw off the perfect vision she’d had for this body. Chell only leaned in and kissed the flushed cheek right below her blue eye, and again slightly lower, before moving to her jawline, and beneath her ear. GLaDOS let her eyes close and sighed, her fingers tangling in chells thick hair as she tilted her head back, urging her to continue.

Chell did continue, graciously, no doubt leaving fresh bruises on pale skin where the first set had long since faded. GLaDOS didn’t particularly appreciate being marred when she had just finished repairing this body, but she wasn’t about to complain. Not now, at least. The last thing she wanted was for Chell to stop, as the former test subject moved her hands from the small of GLaDOS’ back down over her hips to grip her thighs. She pulled the smaller woman closer, settling in between her legs and pressing their bodies together as she trailed kisses down her neck. GLaDOS gasped softly, and wrapped her legs around Chell’s waist.

She was suddenly feeling very warm, and quickly shed her white jacket. She noticed Chell’s eyes on her as she did so, a sort of heat in them that she hadn’t really seen before. It filled her with a newfound pride, and she pushed forward to capture Chell’s lips in a kiss. She held her face in her hands, like Chell did so often with her, and kissed her hard.

Chell made a sound, then. Quiet and low in her throat but definitely there. GLaDOS’ first instinct was to pull away and exclaim her victory over that damnable vow of silence, but Chell had an iron grip on her, and only held her closer as she quickly turned the tables back on the unsuspecting AI.

It didn’t take long for Chell to reduce the central intelligence core of aperture to pleading whimpers, pitifully clinging to the brunette like her life depended on it. GLaDOS might have been embarrassed if she wasn’t so thoroughly distracted by the feeling of Chells lips and tongue and warm skin beneath her fingers.

Without thinking she let her hands stray to Chell’s breasts, giving them a squeeze through the frustratingly restrictive sports bra she wore. For a moment she was concerned that she’d taken things too far somehow when Chell abruptly pulled away, but those worries were negated when she hurriedly pulled off her new tank top. GLaDOS was caught off guard for a second, and oddly the thing that stood out to her the most was the fact that Chell had tan lines. Apparently her stay on the surface had been quite sunny. Her time for admiration was cut short fairly quickly however, as no sooner than Chell pulled off her bra and let it fall to the floor GLaDOS was back in her arms. She found her hand being guided back up to Chell’s chest, not that she really needed the coaxing. Chell must have noticed GLaDOS’ interest in her body during their little adventure, her hands had strayed often enough while she was bored in Chells arms, and the opportunity to explore her freely now was well appreciated.

Chell was all hard muscle beneath soft skin, warm and accommodating now as she yielded to GLaDOS’ curious hands. She had scars, the AI discovered, numerous thin lines criss crossing her body. It was somewhat uncomfortable for GLaDOS to be able to trace each one to a specific test chamber or stray bullet, an infallable memory was sometimes less ideal than it sounded. GLaDOS spent some moments tracing over the marks, before Chell noticed. She gently moved the core’s hand away from the prominent mark between her shoulder blades, coaxing GLaDOS to lift her arms as her own shirt was pulled away, thoroughly distracting her from any thought of scars. Chell’s hands found her breasts, and shortly thereafter so did her lips, which felt much nicer than GLaDOS would have expected. She was annoyed at how easily she bruised, but that was a very minor concern at this point.

There was a brief moment where GLaDOS found herself considering the reality of what was happening, of who she was with, and where they were, and everything they had been through together. At one point she had sworn to herself that she would destroy this woman, this lunatic her ripped her apart and brought nothing but trouble into her life, but here they were. She wondered why Chell had come back at all, and why she was doing this now. Why she was kissing her so gently and sliding her hands under the core’s silk skirt.

GLaDOS had never questioned her choice in clothing before, but suddenly the tights and restrictive skirt seemed like way too much trouble, at least to take off. Apparently Chell decided the same, opting to just push the skirt up around GLaDOS’ waist before tugging her tights off.

The AI’s breath came in shallow pants as she watched Chell drop to her knees in front of the counter, and with no warning or hesitation bury her face between GLaDOS’s thighs. The shocked yelp that escaped her mouth was embarrassing, but luckily Chell didn’t seem to notice or care.

It was so much. Of course she knew about sex and how it worked and all that, but the actual feeling was something she was not exactly prepared for. The way Chell’s hair tickled her thighs, how warm and soft her tongue was, the way she could feel the soft moan that Chell made when she pulled her hair and the fact that she didn’t even care if Chell was talking anymore, she just wanted more. More of her, of whatever it was she was doing. GLaDOS said as much, prattling off pleas between moans and insisting that Chell didn’t stop, never stopped.

It was… different than GLaDOS had expected, not that she’d spent hours imagining such a scenario on numerous occasions, but still perfect. Frankly she’d figured she would be the one coaxing Chell out of her petulant silence and watching her come undone beneath her, and not the other way around, but she wasn’t complaining. At least, not at first. After a while she became certain that Chell was teasing her on purpose, working her up until she just almost couldn’t stand it, and then backing off.

“You… You’re doing that on purpose!” GLaDOS gasped after the second time she did it.

Chell only looked up and raised an eyebrow, before getting back to work.

“You- ah!” GLaDOS began some biting comment but that train of thought was quickly derailed by the feeling of Chell’s fingers inside her. Some part of her brain registered that her predictions of Chell being a rough or harsh lover were all wrong, not that she was exactly gentle, but there was definitely more finesse to her movements than the AI had hypothesized. Chell crooked her fingers in a way that sent sharp waves of pleasure through GLaDOS’ body and finally settled into a steady rhythm with her tongue.

Her orgasm rolled over her in waves, sending shocks of intensity through her that she had never felt, robbing her of her breath and the strength from her limbs.

When finally she came back to earth and opened her eyes again she saw Chell wiping her mouth on the back of her hand, her shoulders rising and falling quickly with her own heavy breath. Her knees seemed weak as she stood, either from kneeling for so long or something else.

It was all GLaDOS could do to reach out to her in some pathetic gesture of longing, to which Chell immediately responded. She gathered GLaDOS’ weak body in her arms and held her close, tucking the smaller woman’s head into the crook of her neck and stroking her hair. GLaDOS closed her eyes and weakly wrapped her arms around her test subjects waist, feeling her bare skin, cold in the subterranean air, against her arms. Chell’s breath was hot against her ear as GLaDOS pressed lazy kisses to her neck and shoulder, before stopping abruptly when she heard something.

“I missed you.”

It was just a whisper, but it was everything.

Chell’s voice was just as rough as it had been before, but it felt like honey coating the AI’s mind.

She had so many plans for when she finally got Chell to talk to her again, so many plans for every different scenario and she had been so excited to see any of them play out. Now that it was here though, she was at a loss. What could she say? She didn’t feel like gloating, for whatever reason it just wasn’t in her. What could she say back? Maybe that she missed her too, but was that even true? Could she miss anyone? She didn’t think she was programmed to. 

GLaDOS went quiet, but Chell didn’t seem to notice. Or if she did, she didn’t question it, and GLaDOS didn’t let go for a long time.

So, how did GLaDOS feel about having Chell back?

It was hard to say.

She knew Chell added something to each day that could never be regained if she left again.

And GLaDOS held her through the whole night as if she would drift into space if she ever let go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry if this is bad I wrote it like a year ago boy I hope it's not awful I have no memory of anything I make or do


	7. letting her back in was a mistake, maybe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 😏 testing euphoria am i right folks   
> chell's a little shit and glados is just trying to do her gosh dang JOB

Chell had been back in Aperture for a little over a week already, but it didn’t feel like it had been that long. Settling into life back underground was proving a little harder than she had anticipated, even though it was remarkably comfortable compared to the way she’d been living on the surface. There was nothing GLaDOS could say to get her out of that big soft bed before noon, or stay in the shower for less than thirty minutes. It was odd in a way, to think of Aperture as comfortable considering her history with the place, and those less than pleasant memories still held a prominent spot in Chell’s mind. For as nice as her new little apartment was, finding a rhythm with GLaDOS, her only companion down here, and presumably the person she’d be spending the rest of her life with at this point, was… tough. They’d learned a bit about each other during their long climb back up from the depths of the facility together, enough for Chell to realize she might’ve been unexpectedly fond of the AI, but it wasn’t as if they’d grown up together. GLaDOS seemed a little unsure of the situation herself, and for the most part acted as if Chell wasn’t there unless she wanted attention, of one form or another. She was obviously out of her element, but then, so was Chell. She didn’t exactly have a slew of successful romances to look back on for reference, not counting a messy slew of one night stands and drunken club encounters. So the cycle of their days together was still rocky, with neither party entirely sure how to interact with the other now that the initial joy of their reunion had worn off.

For Chell, figuring out just what exactly she was supposed to do now was the hardest part. GLaDOS didn’t give her any restrictions other than “Please don’t break anything.” which Chell was pretty sure she could ignore without too much consequence, so really the world was her oyster. But she was bored. Before returning she had given some thought to what she might spend her time doing down here, but not much. Honestly she was still shocked that GLaDOS let her back in at all, her goodbye had seemed so final. Chell had half expected GLaDOS to just shoot her through the door or, much more likely, not respond at all. She hadn’t really considered that she would just… walk right back in. That GLaDOS would want her back. But she did. And now Chell was here, and she had to figure out what to do.

For now her usual afternoon go-to activity was to pester GLaDOS in the central chamber while she tried to work. It wasn’t as if Chell could go much further than there and a few repurposed offices without any portals, so it was either that or… stare at the ceiling. So she finally dragged herself out of bed and pulled on a jacket- GLaDOS kept it freezing in here- and headed down the hall.

The core was predictably in the middle of the chamber, her massive robotic chassis hanging still and dark in the center of the room. She was human today, luckily. It was much easier to talk to her like this, but there didn’t seem to be any clear reasoning behind which body she chose to be in at any given time. The instant Chell passed through the door GLaDOS broke her attention from the array of monitors before her and shot her gaze over to her visitor.

Chell waved.

“Oh, hi.” GLaDOS said, sitting up straighter in her chair and running her fingers carefully through the snowy hair covering her blue eye. She fidgeted slightly before settling on crossing her legs. “To what do I owe the honor…?”

Chell chuckled softly as she approached the glass platform where GLaDOS sat. She shrugged in response, hands in her pockets and eyes downcast. She felt a little underdressed now with her gray sweatpants and messy hair still loose around her shoulders. Glados always dressed much too nicely to just be sitting around all day, Chell thought. Black heels, black stockings, tight black skirts, today the blazer was black too. It couldn’t be a comfortable go-to outfit, but it did look nice. Perfect hair, perfect makeup, perfect nails, perfect posture. GLaDOS was beautiful, strikingly so, in a way that made her hard to look at for long without making Chell turn her head away in nervous laughter. GLaDOS herself was equally awkward, though she did a better job of hiding it.

“Well,” she said, “Do you need anything?” GLaDOS tilted her head to the side slightly, giving a glimpse of her right eye as her gaze flicked over Chell curiously. “…Or are you just going to stand there looking pretty?”

Laughter broke from Chell’s lips, and a slightly unsure smile came to GLaDOS’s. Chell leaned over before she had a chance to think through it too much and caught the core’s chin in her hand, guiding her into a kiss. If nothing else it put GLaDOS at ease a little, Chell could feel her relax and she sighed softly into the kiss. This time it was GLaDOS who bashfully averted her gaze, looking down at her lap when Chell pulled away.

“Well, uh, it’s nice to see you too.”

Chell smiled, and nodded to the empty space beside glados in her chair.

“Oh! Yeah, go ahead.” She scooted over a little to give Chell more room, but it was still a comfortable squeeze with both of them there. Chell was getting used to sitting in here with her, after a while GLaDOS would relax against Chells shoulder and let herself be held. Today though there were dozens of thick black cables extending from her back, a new development and an explanation for the strange affixed to her back. The wires ran up to the chassis in a messy tangle and Chell couldn’t quite figure out a good way to get an arm around GLaDOS without touching them, which she didn’t really want to do. While she considered the situation, GLaDOS sat up abruptly. 

“Oh- hold on.” She leaned forward and turned on the microphone, Chell noticed the harsh shift in her tone when she spoke into it. “What are you two doing? Honestly I should’ve scrapped you for parts ages ago.”

Chell swung her feet awkwardly, recalling feelings of watching a friend get yelled at by their parents.

“Yes, you.” GLaDOS continued, “Who else would I be talking to?”

Chell could hear faint distressed beeping behind GLaDOS’s sigh as she slumped back in her chair. “Ugh, sorry. They’re useless.”

Chell glanced over the monitors for a few moments, and she had to agree. The test the poor little bots were trying to solve was simple enough, and Chell had it figured it in just a few seconds.

“…Frustrating,” she mumbled.

“You don’t know the half of it.”

“…I could do it.”

At that GLaDOS shot up straight and looked Chell dead in the eye. Almost immediately though she caught herself and relaxed, looking back at the monitors nonchalantly. “Well, I… I’m sure you could.”

Chell raised an eyebrow in questioning.

GLaDOS continued, “I mean, if you felt like it… there are a few tests you could try. Just some I had lying around.”

Chell smiled, and nodded. Back when she first met GLaDOS she had thought that testing was pretty fun, up until she tried to kill her. The ones after they both woke up again probably could have been fun too, if GLaDOS hadn’t still been trying to kill her. But, now GLaDOS was much less likely to commit any murders, so why not give it another go? It wasn’t as if Chell had anything better to do down here, and maybe it would be something they could do together.

“Really…?” GLaDOS asked, probably thinking back to the same close calls that Chell was remembering. “It… is dangerous you know. There are no safety considerations in place.”

Chell rolled her eyes. She’d made it through all of GLaDOS’s little tests this far, a few more would be a breeze. Not willing to give the core any more time to doubt Chell got up and stretched her arms, signaling just how ready she was to do anything other than sit around bored for another day.

“Well, fine, if you’re going to be so pushy.”

Within no time Chell found herself holding a shiny new portal gun, disappointingly not the same one she’d carved her name into before, with new long fall boots on her feet and very little patience. She bounced idly in the elevator as it went down, and down, and down, to wherever GLaDOS had been building the new testing tracks. Chell tried to keep a mental record of where exactly she was going, just in case she needed to get back out. Finally the elevator slowed its descent, and came to a smooth stop. The doors opened, and Chell all but ran down the dark hall, ignoring the sign on the wall like she always had.

“Think you can beat your record?” Came GLaDOS’s familiar voice over the speakers, a strange callback to before they were quite so friendly. Chell nodded confidently to the nearest camera, and set off.

——

So, maybe that confidence was a bit premature. It took Chell what felt to her like an eternity to solve the relatively simple puzzle, and then once she did figure it out it took even longer to actually execute it. Thankfully GLaDOS had been fairly quiet the whole time, Chell didn’t really need any comments about how much difficulty she was having catching a stupid cube. All she had to do was push the button, and then jump in the portal, and if her timing was right down the millisecond, apparently, everything would work and she could take the cube to the laser, and the laser through the portal, and maybe then GLaDOS would let her get some lunch. Chell took a breath and tried her best to calculate the time again, before giving it one more try.

This time would have been perfect, but instead of catching the cube she managed to slam into it mid air and ended up landing hard on her side with a small cut on her cheek. She groaned in frustration, and tossed the portal gun away toward the far wall.

“Hey, careful!” GLaDOS chided, “Do you have any idea how expensive that device is?”

Chell nodded against the floor, pretty sure that GLaDOS had told her before exactly how expensive it was, and she hadn’t listened. Slowly she sat up, and steeled herself to try again. It was going to work eventually, it had to, she just had to keep trying.

Thankfully it only took two more tries to get it right, and from there the rest of the test was easy. Chell carried the cube over to the laser and angled it through the portal to activate the switch. As she lined it up properly GLaDOS spoke over the speakers again.

“There, fina- ah-”

The sound of the speakers abruptly cutting out was covered by that of the exit door sliding open. Chell looked up curiously, signaling to the camera by the door. What happened?

She waited, but no response came, so she just shrugged and headed onward. It was a little strange to not hear GLaDOS’s voice as she walked into the elevator and waited through the short trip down, but Chell supposed the AI didn’t really have a reason to talk to her much now, since she was no longer trying to get under her skin. Even so it was somehow eerie to enter a new test chamber and hear nothing, so Chell paused in front of the first camera and waved to it.

“What?” GLaDOS asked, after a short delay. “Yes, I see you.”

Chell tilted her head to the side as she listened to the voice. GLaDOS must have still been in her human body, if the heavy breath behind her words was anything to go off of. Her tone was so different than it had been just a few minutes ago, but at the same time there was something familiar in it, like Chell had heard her talk this way before… Oh.

Chell couldn’t stop the low chuckle that escaped her throat at that dawning realization.

“What? What are you laughing at?” GLaDOS insisted, her voice unmistakably hurried and unsteady.

Chell could practically see the flush on her cheeks as she spoke, remembering clearly the AI’s trembling words as she lay panting in Chell’s bed the other morning. She shot a quick smirk at the camera, and walked on into the test chamber. ‘In it for the science’ she said. Yeah, right. Chell would have scoffed before but now the situation was just funny, and kind of cute. And it gave her notably more motivation to finish the next test. It wasn’t difficult, and she was pretty certain she had it figured out after her first scan of the room. However as soon as she started placing portals, GLaDOS spoke up.

“Wait- I-” She sputtered. Chell paused in her tracks and looked back at the camera with feigned curiosity. “You… don’t have to hurry, you now.”

Chell chuckled again to herself, and carried on. GLaDOS might have said not to hurry, but this chamber was simple, and it wouldn’t take long no matter how Chell solved it. As she stepped carefully over another laser a low, approving hum sounded over the speakers. If GLaDOS had been like this from the start maybe things would have been different, at least a little. But then… why hadn’t she? Chell thought about it as she maneuvered behind a turret to place a portal on the far wall- GLaDOS had never been so compromised by testing before. Maybe it was her new body? But then she ran tests from it often enough, and didn’t seem to have any trouble. If anything watching Blue and Orange test just seemed to annoy her. For a moment Chell wondered if it was just because it was her, if GLaDOS had feelings for her now and that somehow changed things. She shook her head, deciding that was silly. The only other variable she could think of were the new wires connecting GLaDOS to her old body.

Slightly distracted by her musings Chell picked up the turret and carried it over to the ledge, and dropped it into the acid below to get it out of the way.

“Oh.”

Chell looked back at the camera again, and it actually turned away. She grinned. GLaDOS really was adorable sometimes, when she wasn’t awful. What else would she like? Chell wondered, looking around the chamber for another turret to drown. Unfortunately there was only the one, so she kept going.

It was easy enough, and the solution Chell saw upon first entering the chamber turned out to be the right one. It took her less than 10 minutes to get the cube she needed over to the button that would unlock the door. As she trotted over to it GLaDOS’s voice came over the speakers once again, sounding impatient despite her best efforts.

“Oh, good, just- … Well, you know what to do from here.”

“Hm?” Chell paused, setting down the cube. Had GLaDOS almost said the solution?

“No don’t put it down, come on!”

Chell raised an eyebrow, and smirked. She picked up the cube again.

“Good, just- Chell!”

The test subject’s shoulders shook with silent laughter as she set the cube down again, this time right next to the button.

“I know what you’re doing. It’s not funny.”

Chell shrugged and nodded, thinking that it was in fact pretty funny. She climbed up and sat on top of the cube.

“Oh now you’re just being mean.” GLaDOS whined. Her voice was becoming notably less patient, and less composed. Chell stretched her arms and leaned back, relaxing against the cold metal of the cube.

“Chell. Chell get up.”

“Hm?”

“Come on, it’s right there,” GLaDOS groaned, “Stop stalling!” 

“Said not to hurry.”

“What- ughh.”

Chell yawned and closed her eyes, laughing to herself at GLaDOS’s frustrated groaning.

“Fine, I see, clearly this chamber was too challenging for you to solve.”

Chell rolled her eyes, GLaDOS could do better than that.

“You’re just- where are you going? Hey!” GLaDOS called after Chell as she hopped off the cube and wandered over to the ledge. She aimed her portal gun at the far wall again, lining up a shot.

“What are you… don’t you dare. You’ll have to do it all again- no!!” Chell could hear GLaDOS hitting something, the arm of her chair maybe? As she stepped through the portal and back to the other side of the room, and back through the emancipation grill right in front of the entrance. Both the portals immediately blinked out of existence, along with the cube.

GLaDOS let out the most exasperated cry Chell had ever heard, her voice getting quieter near the end as she presumably moved away from the microphone.

“Ughhh! You. You have to be the worst test subject who has ever set foot in this facility.”

“High praise.”

“I hate you.”

“I hate you too.”

Chell blew a kiss to the nearest camera, and went on her way to solve the test again. This time around it only took a few minutes, mostly just the time it took her to walk around, she wasn’t in any rush after all. All the while GLaDOS grumbled and admonished Chell from the central chamber, the pitch of her voice rising with the rate of her breath as Chell made it back over to the door with her new cube.

“Okay, now just. Don’t do that again.”

Chell paused, and thought about it. She thought about it some more.

“Chell!”

“Where does it go?”

“Oh my god.” GLaDOS groaned. Chell swore she could hear her foot tapping quickly in the background. Chell laughed, but she couldn’t keep this up forever. It was a little mean, and GLaDOS was starting to sound less playfully annoyed and more genuinely angry, so she moved the cube over the button. GLaDOS’s breath caught in her throat in response- her fed up growling giving way to silent anticipation.

But, Chell wouldn’t let her off that easily. She lowered the cube down slowly, and just barely let it rest on the button. The door wasn’t even activated, but apparently that was enough for GLaDOS’s system if the squeaky gasp that escaped her was any indication. As soon as that sound left her lips though, Chell moved the cube away again.

She grinned at the ensuing scream that cut through the room, accompanied by the clattering of a clipboard hitting the floor.

“Chell for fuck’s sake.”

“Language.”

“Ugghhh.”

“Ask nicely.”

“What…??” GLaDOS sounded absolutely attacked, her voice shrill and uncomfortable and breathy. “No! Just put–! Ughh, Chell come on.”

Chell shook her head, still holding the cube just a hair’s breadth above the button. She wished that she could see GLaDOS’s face, she could hear the movement of fabric and would’ve killed to see GLaDOS squirming and fidgeting in her chair. Chell looked at the camera and raised an eyebrow. Well?

“You do not need me to ask you to do your one job.”

“Hmm…” well that wasn’t the right answer. Chell lifted the cube up higher and started to move away. Flicking her eyes back to the other side of the room again.

“No-! No no, wait, don’t start it over again!!”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah- just. Finish the test.

“Finish the test…?” Chell repeated, trailing off in suggestion of one more little word.

“No.” GLaDOS said sternly. Her voice was starting to lose some of the edge of frustration, so Chell quickly tapped the cube back down on the button. GLaDOS squealed in response, a cute high pitched little sound that quickly degraded into a shriek of annoyance.

“You’re awful!! God!”

Chell rolled her eyes and nodded.

“Y-you can’t stay in there forever, you have to solve it eventually!”

Chell shrugged. 

“Look just do it and I’ll- I’ll give you something. I promise, you’ll like it!”

“Hmm…”

“You’re ruini- ah!! Stop that!!” GLaDOS yelled over Chell’s laughter as she tapped the cube down again, her voice now shrill and wavering.

“Ask.” said Chell.

“I am asking!”

Chell gave the camera a look. GLaDOS knew what she needed to do, it wasn’t hard.

The AI groaned deep in her throat, and grumbled again, “No.”

Chell sighed, and turned back toward the ledge, taking the cube with her.

“No!! No- no no, wait, turn back around, Chell!! Don’t you dare.”

Chell paused, but didn’t turn around.

There was a moment where she could tell GLaDOS was thinking, mulling over the options in her head. She mumbled and whined and cursed, before finally, she did it.

In a low, growly voice, GLaDOS mumbled “Please.”

There, now was that so hard? Chell smiled triumphantly, and finally dropped the cube on the button.

The noise that GLaDOS made in response was positively lyrical, a deep, throaty moan that Chell was starting to become familiar with but still sent a rush of heat through her body. She stood still for a moment listening, picturing GLaDOS’s pink cheeks and furrowed brow- the tremors of her body as her voice finally gave way to ragged panting.

“Move.” GLaDOS commanded between heavy breaths. Chell startled from her position of staring vaguely in the direction of the speaker and hurried through the open door and onto the elevator. Even GLaDOS’s harsh tone didn’t wipe the smile off her face though, she felt as if she’d just learned some great secret.

“Feel good…?” She asked as the elevator doors closed behind her.

“Shut up.”

Chell smirked, but that faded when she realized the elevator was moving in the wrong direction, remarkably fast.

“It seems you found an… unexpected bug.” GLaDOS said as the elevator rose. “How nice.”

A sudden worry overtook Chell- GLaDOS didn’t exactly sound happy. She racked her brain trying to remember if there were any good routes away from the central chamber, just in case GLaDOS was really angry with her. Slowly the elevator came to a stop, and the glass doors opened.

Chell scanned the room, but GLaDOS was still sitting on her throne, legs crossed, chin in her hand.

“Come here,” she said.

Chell cautiously stepped into the room, and walked about halfway over to the central platform.

“That was not nearly as satisfying as it might have sounded to some people.” GLaDOS glared from the shadow of her chassis, tapping her foot on the glass platform.

A tension left Chell’s shoulders as she realized she probably wasn’t in danger, and slowly she closed the distance between herself and the core.

“No?”

“No. And you don’t get to start things like that and not finish them properly.”

A small smile tugged at chells lips as she walked up the stairs. “Oops.”

“Just come here, you monster.”

Chell grinned, and scooped GLaDOS up in her arms. The smaller woman melted into her body instinctively, wrapping her arms and legs around her easily.

“You know,” she said, “you still have to finish the rest of the tests.”

Chell rolled her eyes, and shut GLaDOS up with a kiss.


	8. Chell Is Continuously Awful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MORE PORN YEEHAW

The previous night Chell had forced GLaDOS to leave her work, saying that she was “tired” and “needed rest” and that “the reason her vision was blurry was because she hadn’t slept in two days”, as if the test subject knew what she was talking about. Maybe GLaDOS had all but passed out the second Chell deposited her in bed, but she could have kept working if she’d been allowed to.

Now, in the simulated early morning light, that slight was still on GLaDOS’s mind even as Chell did her best to pull her attention back to the present. She had snagged the now mostly human AI as she stepped out of the shower, pulling her in close and peppering kisses over her neck and shoulders. GLaDOS was certainly not protesting, even if Chell had an annoying habit of leaving bruises no matter how many times she was told to be careful. She tipped her head back and sighed, taking in the feeling of Chell’s lips and tongue against her neck, and her warm hands where they rested on the small of her back. It was almost enough to make GLaDOS forget just what she had been so focused on, and she allowed herself to relax into the test subject’s strong arms. She pressed kisses against Chell’s throat, and tested the delicate skin between her teeth. The way Chell paused and drew in a sharp breath when she was bitten made GLaDOS want to try again, harder, but instead she found herself being the one to pause next.

As Chell traced her fingers up GLaDOS’s back she naturally trailed around the perimeters of the ports that disrupted the path of her spine. Usually Chell ignored them, only ever skimming over the rubberized plastic in passing, but now she paused, almost as if contemplating something. As her fingers moved over the housing of the main port between the AI’s shoulder blades GLaDOS arched her back in response, as if reflexively trying to escape the sensation.

“What are you doing?” GLaDOS asked.

Chell only hummed softly in response, giving a noncommittal shrug as she did so. Her fingers circled around the port for a moment, tracing over the smooth lines in the rubber and pressing her fingertips along the join where the black plastic met GLaDOS’s skin. Eventually GLaDOS relaxed into it, any caring attention was good as far as she was concerned, and these ports had always been… a little more sensitive than she would have liked. It was something she’d planned on fixing, someday. It always hurt just a little to plug in new wires, and removing them always made the core shudder. That, and Chell slowly tracing the contours of the housing around the top port was making GLaDOS consider trying to solve the little problem sooner rather than later, this could be very inconvenient. Nevertheless, for now at least she supposed it was nice, and rested her head against Chells broad shoulder as the human satisfied her curiosity. That is, until Chell’s fingers slipped past the edge of the housing and into the port itself, and GLaDOS shot up and gasped.

It wasn’t unpleasant, but it was… a little shocking, to say the least. Chells warm, familiar hand felt strange and foreign touching where she shouldn’t like this, and at first GLaDOS wished she would stop. These ports were delicate pieces of precision engineering, vital to her operation, not things for clumsy-fingered humans to go poking around in.

But of course, Chell wasn’t clumsy. She was gentle, and cautious, as her fingertips grazed over the circular array of pins at the center of GLaDOS’s back. She had stopped kissing her by now, apparently distracted by… whatever it was she thought she was doing. She ran her fingertips over the pins and rubbed the center ground post, apparently not with any clear plan or purpose in mind, but she was certainly doing something.

GLaDOS found herself frozen in place and breathing heavily after just a few seconds of it- it felt… strange. She could feel the latent electricity of Chell’s body through the port as a prickling tingle that radiated through her spine and sent indescribable impulses through her system. Her processors were trying to make sense of the input while the nerves in her human body, so closely integrated into these ports, flooded her brain with messages of sensation.

It wasn’t quite pleasurable, but it wasn’t unpleasant either. It didn’t feel this way when she bathed or when her clothes brushed against them, and she herself had never thought to touch them like this before, so it was very new. Chell must have noticed GLaDOS’s stunned silence or quickened breath, because she paused for just a moment.

“…Can you feel that?” She asked, her rough voice barely above a whisper.

GLaDOS was a little dazed, but nodded. She would have thought it was obvious.   
“Yes.”

“…Does it hurt?” Chell asked, hovering her hand a few inches away from GLaDOS’s back.

GLaDOS had to think about that for a second. The feeling was somewhat ticklish, a tingling heat that threatened to hurt if it continued, but in of itself it wasn’t quite pain.

“…No.” GLaDOS said.

Chell hummed softly, and gently returned her hand to the core’s back, resting her warm palm over the plastic housing, before pressing her fingers back inside. GLaDOS gasped, her body going tense instinctively before she convinced it to relax. Chell leaned in and started kissing GLaDOS’s neck again, which only added more confusing feelings for her to deal with. Every sensation felt heightened, Chell’s warm breath beneath her ear, the pressure as she sucked another horrible bruise onto GLaDOS’s skin, the feeling of her teeth, her tongue, her hands. She had moved her free hand from the small of the core’s back down to her rear, and gave it a squeeze. Normally GLaDOS would offer some coy protestation to such an affront, but she didn’t really care right now. Her whole body hummed with sensation, she felt almost drunk off of it. Every brush of Chell’s calloused fingers sent waves of tingling heat through her body, making her tremble and shudder, whimpering into the crook of Chell’s neck.

Maybe it was pleasure of some sort that she felt, as those fingers pressed against the sharp copper pins and sent uneven waves of static data through her mind. The back of her neck tingled and her heart raced in her chest. She arched her back instinctively to escape the potentially dangerous invasion -Chell could very easily damage her this way- but it only served to press her closer to Chell, to her bare skin and her heat. She couldn’t liken the feeling to anything else. She wanted to squirm away but it was so intoxicating, almost painful, almost euphoric. She briefly remembered the high she used to get from testing when she was new, it wasn’t really like that, but she was reminded of it somehow.

GLaDOS hadn’t noticed that Chell had moved her other hand again until she felt two fingers press into the second port on her back. She gasped, eyes snapping open as her body was racked with a second onslaught of pinprick heat.

She moaned and whimpered against Chell’s shoulder, a humiliating picture of helplessness as she clung to the humans neck and panted and keened. Her knees felt weak, and she was almost dizzy. It was embarrassing, to be reduced to such a state so easily while Chell was largely unaffected. GLaDOS couldn’t do much but press a few messy kisses against Chell’s neck and grab fistfulls of her thick black hair as she panted and whined.

Chell took mercy on her for a few seconds, moving her hands away just long enough to pick her up and move her to their bed. GLaDOS caught a brief glimpse of her face as she pulled the smaller woman onto her lap, she wore the same stormy, determined expression she usually did whenever she was working GLaDOS into such a state. That was all GLaDOS had time to think about though, before Chell returned her attention, with harsh suddenness, to her back.

She was slightly less cautious but still gentle as she moved her fingers over the delicate copper pins in both ports, rubbing them in smooth circles or pressing the warmth of her fingertips firmly against them, a move that made GLaDOS whine and writhe in her arms more and more the longer she maintained it. Chell was a fast learner, and it didn’t take her long to pick up on what got the biggest reactions from her cyborg partner. She was always able to play her like a harp, to stir up the collected, professional AI into a moaning, weepy mess. There was a good deal of satisfaction in seeing her face turn red and wanton as she got closer to the edge, her scarred chest heaving in desperation. Chell hadn’t expected to get such a strong reaction out of this, she was actually thinking they might be ticklish, but she wasn’t complaining. It was new and exciting, and her mind already raced with possibilities. GLaDOS grew louder as she continued to work the ports on her back, and her moans more desperate. She mumbled Chell’s name between gasps, her breath hot and earnest against the test subjects neck. Finally one breathy word caught her attention,

“Please.”

GLaDOS was aching, dying for release yet at the same time hoping the feeling would never end. Perhaps Chell had ruined her from teasing her so much, always drawing it out until she was forced to beg and plead for satisfaction. But in an usual turn, this time at least she was merciful.

Chell’s thigh between GLaDOS’s legs put an end to whatever rational thought was left in her mind. She hadn’t realized that she was dripping wet until she pressed her pussy down against Chell’s skin, but she supposed she shouldn’t be surprised. Quickly GLaDOS found herself grinding against her mindlessly, desperate for any release from the overwhelming sensation, and reveling in friction that was more than enough to send her over. Still though she tried to hold back, to be patient, Chell’s hands felt so good and she was being held so tightly, it was infuriating but she didn’t want it to end just yet. Her mind was swimming but she heard Chell mumbling into her ear, ‘come on’, ‘that’s it’. GLaDOS knew she couldn’t hold on much longer, and that was quickly proven true.

Chell’s fingers caught against the pins for just a second as she pressed down just a little too hard, barely enough to make the one of rigid pins bend and snap back like a plucked guitar string. It was a tiny thing, but GLaDOS screamed. It was far from the first time that Chell had made her cry out in such a way, but this was embarrassing. GLaDOS shouldn’t have been able to come from just… whatever this was. Chell had given her plenty of incredible orgasms but this was… overwhelming. Like she had been flooded. Apparently that last touch was finally too much for her body to handle and she was left moaning and shaking in Chell’s arms, her small frame racked with tremors that left her weak and exhausted when at last they subsided.

She panted heavily against Chell’s shoulder where she rested her head. Her human’s capricious hands were finally through tormenting her, and instead Chell combed her fingers through GLaDOS’s still damp hair.

“You okay…?” she asked after a while of petting the spent woman on her lap.

GLaDOS nodded weakly, but earnestly. She didn’t want Chell thinking she’d hurt her somehow, at least not right now.

“Good.” Chell kissed her on the forehead, smoothing her hair back to show her right eye as she did so. GLaDOS was beyond caring about that now, and let it be as Chell pulled her to lie down.

She rested her head on Chell’s breast, loosely wrapping her arm around her waist. Still breathing heavily she watched as Chell slipped her hand between her legs to finish herself off, impatiently rubbing at her clit. GLaDOS decided that wouldn’t do, and trailed her hand down the test subject’s body to join her. She slipped her fingers beneath Chells hand, scruffing briefly through the coarse hair that trailed up to her stomach before taking over. She watched Chell’s face as her eyes fluttered shut, her expression shifting to something much softer and more vulnerable than she usually wore. She leaned into GLaDOS and held her close, rubbing the short hair at the nape of her neck. They shared a messy kiss that lasted until Chell tossed her head back, gasping as her back arched and her climax overtook her.

Chell melted into the sheets with a low sigh, her chest rising and falling quickly. She gathered GLaDOS up in her arms and squeezed her tightly, eliciting a soft laugh from the core. GLaDOS was slowly remembering that she had things to do today, and should really be doing them, but she was trapped now, it wasn’t her fault. She closed her eyes and pressed herself close to Chell, who in turn rubbed her back gently. Those calloused fingers brushed against the top port for a second, making GLaDOS shudder and gasp.

“Hey, show some restraint,” She warned, though her voice wasn’t quite as stern as it could’ve been.

Chell had a thoughtful expression on her still flushed face, and after a bit of consideration and gently tracing her finger around the edge of the housing, she said in her usual gravely tone,  
“…What would happen if I licked it?”

GLaDOS smacked her pretty little head for that, but Chell just laughed. As she thought about it though, there was only one way to find out.


	9. oof

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chell's experience with the fleeting nature of flesh

Blood.

That was all Chell could process at first.

The smell of iron, the bright red puddle growing on the floor as more and more of it seeped between her fingers as she tried desperately to stifle the bleeding.

How could this have happened? She was right there- right there, and she did nothing. GLaDOS was shot, and she was dying. Again.

But this was different.

It’s one thing to break a robot to save your own life, but that was far in the past. Now GLaDOS was flesh and blood, muscle and bone, and a mix of wires and strange electrical components Chell never knew were inside her until the rocket tore her open.

“No, no, no, no.” Chell muttered frantically as she watched the puddle around her knees continue to grow. GLaDOS had looked at her right after she got hit, an expression of pure shock, before she collapsed onto the hard tile floor. Her last labored breaths bubbling through the blood in her throat before she finally stopped moving, and became a heavy weight on Chell’s thighs.

She was gone.

She was already gone.

Chell could hear her heart beating in her ears and her hands shook violently as she tried to urge some life back into the frail body draped over her lap.

“No!” she repeated again, louder than anything she had said in years.

When GLaDOS fell, the lights went out. An overwhelming silence filled the room, as everything stopped. It just stopped.

She was gone.

Everything was gone.

Chell tried to stay calm, to think it through, to come up with her next course of action, but her mind had stopped with everything else and she couldn’t form a single thought. She just repeated “No, no” as if her denial could somehow reverse the situation.

She screamed.

She hit the floor, hard enough to numb the side of her hand and send pain shooting up her arm as she cried out in fury and fear.

She clutched GLaDOS to her chest as tight as she could, as if someone was coming to steal her away.

And she cried, heaving sobs that shook her body and left her nearly breathless, soaking GLaDOS’ pristine white hair in tears.

Chell barely registered what was happening around her. A loud thunk, a low whirring, and the lights came back on. Gradually the noise of machinery and turbines returned and filled the facility once more.

And then,

“Ow. That almost hurt as much as the first time. Now what were we talking about?”

Chell’s breath caught in her throat and she snapped her head up to look around.

“What?” came GLaDOS again, over the pa system.

Chell stared off in the direction of the sound, stock still and holding back sobs. She didn’t loosen her grip on GLaDOS’ limp body. The next announcement was hard to understand, Chell could barely hear it over the blood still rushing in her ears, and her own increasingly ragged breath.

Grief turned to confusion turned to anger, and back to confusion before the next message came.

“Are you crying?” GLaDOS asked, “Wow, I didn’t think you had it in you.”

Chell glowered at the speaker, tears still falling from her eyes.

“What are you doing? Let go of that thing. It’s broken.”

Chell almost flinched at that, and looked back down at the body in her arms. The sobs had faded, but now she sat in silent anguish.

“Chell? …Hey, you know that I’m not in there, right? Hello?”

Chell didn’t look up.

“Come on, okay I got shot, we’re all sad about it, now let’s get up and burn that thing. It’s making a mess.”

“No!!” Chell yelled, more into the crook of GLaDOS’ neck than to the voice speaking to her.

She had never seen another person die.

She’d never really seen another person injured, not severely, and she was stunned. She had kissed these lips and held these hands, small and delicate and slowly growing cold. She couldn’t just let her go, let her be tossed into a fire like any other piece of trash.

“What?” GLaDOS continued, “I… look, it’s replaceable, I can get another one, alright?”

“What?!” Chell sobbed, eyes quickly filling with tears again.

She waited, but there wasn’t a response.

The bleeding had stopped, for the most part, she was drained.

Chell touched her cheek with a trembling hand. If she only looked at her face, she looked like she was sleeping. Chell held her like that for some time.

Her attention only broke at the sound of soft footsteps approaching from the hall.

In the doorway there stood a woman. Petite, fair, and somewhat unsteady on her bare feet. She wore what looked like a hospital gown, long unruly white hair cascading over her shoulders and one eye. Chell stared, incredulously, and hugged the body in her arms to her chest.

The woman walked over and kneeled beside her, then she spoke.

“See?” came GLaDOS’ voice, just the same, “I’m fine. I have plenty of these things. Now stop crying.”

Chell shook her head slowly. Was she serious? Was this supposed to change the fact that she just died? That she let Chell watch her bleed out? She shook her head again, not entirely sure what she was trying to communicate, but she wasn’t happy.

GLaDOS could tell as much, but she didn’t know why. Wasn’t the problem solved? What even was the problem, anyway? She was fine. Chell should have expected as much, she switched between bodies constantly, why would one being destroyed matter? She had never explained to her what exactly would happen if one of those vessels was damaged beyond repair somehow, but she hadn’t though she needed to.

She searched Chell’s eyes, which looked even more striking surrounded by red, but couldn’t find anything telling.

“What’s wrong?” She asked softly.

Chell furrowed her brow and scoffed. “What’s… You died!”

“You weren’t nearly this shaken up the first time.”

“Shut up! This is different!”

A part of GLaDOS couldn’t help but take note of every little thing Chell was doing. Seeing the usually stoic and silent test subject so worked up was fascinating, and something about her tearful eyes was beautiful. GLaDOS wondered if it was the same part of her that had once delighted in putting Chell in danger.

“Well, I suppose it is different.” GlaDOS agreed. She thought for a moment. “Humans do have a natural aversion to death. It makes them confront their own mortality-”

“This isn’t about that.” Chell growled.

“Then what is it about?”

“You…!” Chell groaned and gestured at GLaDOS where she crouched beside her, “This isn’t you! This isn’t the same!”

“Well, not exactly, no. This body doesn’t have some of the more recent upgrades, but genetically speaking they’re… Chell?”

Fresh tears were gathering in Chell’s stormy eyes, and they were starting to look less pretty. An unpleasant feeling wormed its way into GLaDOS’ mind, beginning to push away her initial intrigue.

“I was scared.” Chell said, and the words sounded almost painful how she choked them out.

“I…” GLaDOS paused. Had Chell ever said that before? Among the few words she had said at all since returning to Aperture, she couldn’t recall “scared” ever being one of them. Of course she felt fear, everyone did, even GLaDOS herself. But to admit fear was different, the AI could at least understand that much.

“I… I’m sorry.” she said, after some consideration.

Chell looked at her for a long moment, but eventually her shoulders fell and she sighed.

She didn’t say anything else, but she leaned against GLaDOS’ new shoulder, and closed her eyes.


	10. Shrike

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is actually about me listening to shrike by hozier and crying about how talking is hard but shhh don't tell anybody

“I love you.”

Those were simple words. Easy, short, barely even a sentence. There were only a few places to stumble, to mispronounce or stutter. Chell could say them, and she had, plenty of times. Some times more easily than others, most times with only a hint of fear. Each time she said them to GLaDOS it seemed to come easier.

“I love you, too.”

Those words were harder.

There wasn’t any good reason for it, maybe it was just one word over the threshold of what Chell could say without thinking. Maybe it was something about the letter T, it made her stutter. Maybe she was afraid of stuttering.

But maybe it was just the way GLaDOS looked at her when she was supposed to say it.

“I love you,” GLaDOS said, having waited for a moment when the whole world was quiet except for the two of them, and all that silence stared down at Chell waiting to be filled. A part of her heart would soar, giddy and light and making her feel much younger than she was, but another part sank. It didn’t matter how much she wanted to say it back, how much she felt it, thought it, needed GLaDOS to believe it. Something would stop her. The prospect of hearing her own rough voice echoed back into her ears. The the thought that she may say it wrong- and maybe GLaDOS would think less of her for it. The indescribable feeling that she may be breaking the silence in the room, hurting something by asserting her existence. But really there wasn’t a single reason, not that Chell could pinpoint, no matter how long she spent agonizing over every syllable and every letter in her mind. She just couldn’t say it. Not then, not that time. Maybe the next. So she would nod, or pull GLaDOS into a kiss, an embrace. Give her something else in response, and hope she understood.

But that wasn’t always good enough, and Chell knew it. She spoke to GLaDOS plenty, at least she thought so. GLaDOS seemed to like the sound of her own voice enough for it to not really matter that their conversations were mostly one sided. Chell wasn’t trying to play mute anymore, but she had never been loud. She laughed quietly, cried in silence. She even walked quietly, as well as she could with the metal attachments on her legs. GLaDOS tried to make her speak up, either by just telling her to or manufacturing situations where she knew she would on her own. Whatever GLaDOS did to make her talk though, Chell barely spoke above a whisper, raising her voice only on rare occasions when the ache in her chest subsided enough to allow it.

She could say “I love you.” She could, and she had, and she did. But not as often as GLaDOS. Not as loud or as clear. But she meant it every time, with every mumbled word. She could only hope that GLaDOS knew it.

“I love you,” GLaDOS said, gazing up at Chell in the simulated evening light through messy white hair and heavy lashes. Chell smiled, her chest warm and light with adoration, looking back at the most precious thing in the world. I know, she thought, I love you too. GLaDOS’s mismatched eyes fluttered shut as Chell kissed her, but the sigh that escaped her was not so much content as impatient. Chell felt delicate hands against her shoulders, gently pushing her away. Immediately her heart tumbled in her chest- a stark realization that now, she needed to speak. She could feel the blood rising, the prickle in the back of her throat, the growing chill in her stomach. It wasn’t always like this, she could talk, she did it all the time. This shouldn’t have been happening, and yet it was. She didn’t know why it was so hard.

“Did you hear me?” GLaDOS said, “I said I love you.” Her voice was gentle, but laced with accusation.

Chell nodded, hoping her stupid fear didn’t show on her face. She ran over the phrase in her mind, and a few variants- what did she want to say? She could say what she thought, “I know, me too.” But was that good enough? Was that right? How could GLaDOS misconstrue those words if she said them? Would Chell’s meaning be lost, would she sound too self centered? No, it was better to stay simple. “I love you, too.” That was fine. Chell repeated it in her head countless times, trying to work up the courage to even open her mouth. She cursed her pounding heart and how quickly she was breathing while nothing happened around her.

GLaDOS tilted her head slightly, suddenly reminding Chell that she was in fact, still there, and still watching. And waiting. Every second of hesitation- how long had it been now? Every second she waited only made it worse. Her meaning was lost on empty air, she had to say something. It shouldn’t have been so hard, it wasn’t for GLaDOS, why was it for her? Why was she like this? It was simple. Four simple words. She could do it, she told herself. And yet the second she parted her lips to try to speak, she froze.

Chell faltered for a moment, before releasing the held breath and trying again. It was as if her throat clamped shut when she tried to transfer the thoughts into words. She couldn’t make a sound no matter how hard she tried, couldn’t breathe, could barely think. All she could manage was the cracked beginning of a sound, broken and quiet, nowhere near anything intelligible.

She’d already ruined it.

GLaDOS still stared up at her, waiting patiently for a response that Chell knew by now she wasn’t going to get. She tried again, but met the same result. It was just so damn quiet other than her useless faltering and the blood rushing in her ears. She couldn’t bare to break whatever intangible barrier blocked her voice, couldn’t bare to break that silence. And so, she pressed her lips tightly together, and shook her head.

GLaDOS sighed, but reached out and pulled Chell back down to her.

“It’s alright,” she said. However sincere she may have sounded, Chell knew it was a lie. But still she was thankful for it. Her heart still pounded and skipped in her chest, but GLaDOS’s fingers in her hair and the warmth of her breath were reassuring.

Slowly, GLaDOS shifted beneath her, and Chell found herself guided to her black painted lips. Chell kissed her back earnestly, as if hoping GLaDOS could taste the unspoken words on her tongue. This was all she could offer for now.

**Author's Note:**

> this is the first thing I wrote for the au my writing does get better I promise


End file.
